Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Patients: #15, Translation

Dr. C:
     Hello, Mrs. M.  This is my first time meeting you.  I'm Dr. Colasante.  How can I help you today?
Mrs. M:
     I got a knot, it sits right in there like a balloon or I dunno what you might call it.  It could be on my right side and then my shoulder hurts and it come right on down and sets right here, all my bladder is hurtin' so I called the hospital and they say go on over to your primary care.
     Right down on my bladder and stuff I thought I was fixin' to bust or somethin'--different things start to react since I had that fall they ax me did I still sing in the choir and I say yeah I do, and they say maybe them steps is botherin' you, you go up and down them steps they wanna say it's comin' from my groin.
     Now I gotta lawyer on it and it ain't doin' much good, he says I gotta find me a better doctor and find out witherins wrong with me.
     My urine'll go to flowin' sometimes I used to be on a diaper and now I'm on it again, every five or ten minutes I gotta go to the bathroom, that pessary ain't doin' much.  He say they need it to go in there and bring it over my uterus but only thing is if they do, it could set off somethin' in there and I say leave it alone then.  My uterus all twisted up I might end up wearin' a catholic or I might end up bleedin'--
     One of my knees the bone is sittin' in a cocked position, I ain't in no pain with that and my daughter says mama can't they go in there to swiping the bone or puttin' in the cartilage?
     Gettin' back to this here knot at certain times when it go to hurtin' when I'm in bed, it go to pressin' on my breathin' and I can't catch my breath, why is that?
     The banker tell me you got to get your doctor to give you somethin' for your nerves cuz when I write a check I go to shakin' and I got to mash on my arm right there and it'll stop.  The police told me when I went to get my license, tell you all's doctor give you sumpin for your nerves, shingles, that or whatever you call it.  I been having work on a broken machine, if it's rainin' then I'm rainin' too, it's that caution.
     Everyone say girl you drink that much water I say no they say well you got good kidneys.  Some time it bother me, some time it don't.  We go to church service and I get there nine thirty then at eleven or so I have to go that's why I wear a pamper.  My boss oughtta do right, he want you to work, but fix the machines to allow you to work.  I say you gotta fix the machines 'cuz it be tirin' me out.  I put that medica tape they give in the hospital and it take away the pain altogether.
     When eatin' seven or eight p.m. then go on to church and come home and have me a little snack I gots to be careful what I eat, it may be sweet or salty or sour it'll get me to hurtin' in my legs, can you do sumpin about that, why it is my legs go to hurtin' when I eat sumpin sweet or salty?
Dr. C:
     Okay....  Let's start at the beginning, again. 

1 comment:

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