1. I lost my prescription for Ritalin--can you just write another one?
2. Could you wait a minute, Doc, while I finish my text message?
3. My insurance doesn't cover the last three prescriptions you wrote.
4. You need prior authorization for an MRI on your patient with an abnormal x-ray.
5. We refuse to authorize the MRI.
6. I don't know why I'm gaining weight. I never eat.
7. My cocaine test can't be positive. Maybe someone put it in my drink.
8. I don't use weed--the test must be positive from breathing other people's smoke.
9. I can't have an STD. I haven't had sex in three years.
10. I don't know what medicines I'm taking--don't you have them written in my chart?
11. Dr. C., what are you going to do about my anger problem?
12. It's your fault, for not giving me a prescription, that I have to buy my drugs on the street.
13. I don't need you. I can get order what I need from India.
14. I read on the internet that gabbapoocha juice will improve my sex life.
15. I don't like taking medicine. Can you give me something that's not medicine?
16. I believe in natural cures.
17. I can't exercise. I don't like the discomfort.
18. I can't diet, because I get low blood sugar.
19. My last doctor was a quack.
20. I woke up and couldn't move my arms or legs. Can you tell me why?
21. I know I can't diet. So, can you get me a gastric bypass?
22. My sister gets $500 a month from Social Security, so I want a letter from you saying I'm disabled too.
23. Can you get gonorrhea from schooching?
24. If I have herpes I'm gonna kill myself. Could you do a herpes test?
25. He broke my arm, but I'm not ready to leave him.
26. I'm reporting you to the medical board for doing a drug screen on me.
27. The police stole my pain pills.
28. There are bugs crawling all over me.
29. I brought a stool sample in this mayonnaise jar. Look--see the worms?
30. There's definitely a rash there. It's not my fault if you can't see it.
31. I haven't slept for ten days.
32. I went to the ER for a second opinion.
33. Could you give me a work excuse for the past two weeks?
34. Could you write a letter saying I failed this semester because of anxiety?
35. My smoking isn't a health problem, cuz I grow my own tobacco.
36. I want you to do a blood test for every kind of cancer.
37. Can't you give me the shot without a needle?
38. Are you a real doctor?
39. Are you gonna put that thing in my cootersnapper?
40. I hate doctors. Just letting you know.
2. Could you wait a minute, Doc, while I finish my text message?
3. My insurance doesn't cover the last three prescriptions you wrote.
4. You need prior authorization for an MRI on your patient with an abnormal x-ray.
5. We refuse to authorize the MRI.
6. I don't know why I'm gaining weight. I never eat.
7. My cocaine test can't be positive. Maybe someone put it in my drink.
8. I don't use weed--the test must be positive from breathing other people's smoke.
9. I can't have an STD. I haven't had sex in three years.
10. I don't know what medicines I'm taking--don't you have them written in my chart?
11. Dr. C., what are you going to do about my anger problem?
12. It's your fault, for not giving me a prescription, that I have to buy my drugs on the street.
13. I don't need you. I can get order what I need from India.
14. I read on the internet that gabbapoocha juice will improve my sex life.
15. I don't like taking medicine. Can you give me something that's not medicine?
16. I believe in natural cures.
17. I can't exercise. I don't like the discomfort.
18. I can't diet, because I get low blood sugar.
19. My last doctor was a quack.
20. I woke up and couldn't move my arms or legs. Can you tell me why?
21. I know I can't diet. So, can you get me a gastric bypass?
22. My sister gets $500 a month from Social Security, so I want a letter from you saying I'm disabled too.
23. Can you get gonorrhea from schooching?
24. If I have herpes I'm gonna kill myself. Could you do a herpes test?
25. He broke my arm, but I'm not ready to leave him.
26. I'm reporting you to the medical board for doing a drug screen on me.
27. The police stole my pain pills.
28. There are bugs crawling all over me.
29. I brought a stool sample in this mayonnaise jar. Look--see the worms?
30. There's definitely a rash there. It's not my fault if you can't see it.
31. I haven't slept for ten days.
32. I went to the ER for a second opinion.
33. Could you give me a work excuse for the past two weeks?
34. Could you write a letter saying I failed this semester because of anxiety?
35. My smoking isn't a health problem, cuz I grow my own tobacco.
36. I want you to do a blood test for every kind of cancer.
37. Can't you give me the shot without a needle?
38. Are you a real doctor?
39. Are you gonna put that thing in my cootersnapper?
40. I hate doctors. Just letting you know.
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